Friday, 30 October 2015

50 Things I've Learnt During The First Year

 Some  observations, 'words of wisdom' and home truths from my first year of parenting!

  1. -The human body is absolutely amazing. Yep, the very same body that couldn't  carry me around the field during cross country (circa '02)  managed to grow a little human. It was stretched to its maximum capacity over 9 months, endured excruciating pain and birthed a little human, and it still kinda blows my mind.
  2. You know what else is amazing? Witch Hazel. Cooling, soothing witch hazel. If there ever should be a 'next time ' it's sure as hell the first thing being chucked in the hospital bag.
  3.  Expectant parents are like putty in the hands of marketers. I too am guilty of stocking up on so many useless products that I was led to believe were 'essentials'
  4. On the subject of stocking up, we are still scraping through tubs of never ending Sudocrem and bottles of baby shampoo... a year later. Oops.
  5. You probably will have a big ol' cry at some stage in the first few weeks of parenthood. One you will be able to look back on and laugh at. Those pesky hormones, eh?!
  6. ...And sadly, those hormones will never be the same again. Get used to weeping over everything.. cute animals, old people, Grand Designs...
  7. Stretchmarks do fade. OK, so they don't completely vanish over night, but they do fade- You only have to look at your baby to know that they are very much worth it.
  8. You will never have to set an alarm clock ever again.
  9. 7.30am is considered 'sleeping in' My teenage self would shudder at the very thought.
  10. I really thought baby clothes were extremely awkward to put on, until it came to dressing a walking toddler. This is the time of day I count as my daily exercise.
  11. Had I known Gaviscon was available on prescription I wouldn't have have bled my bank account dry buying it in Boots.. at least my advantage card reaped the rewards! 
  12. I never really appreciated sleep until becoming a mum, and if I could turn back time I would happily have clocked up more hours in bed and felt no guilt whatsoever.
  13. Never under estimate the power of a baby wipe. Not only do they clean baby, they'll also be used to clean your sofa, your floor, yourself in between showers, and those baby food stains from your jeans. 
  14. Every one loves a birth story. I have never shared so many intimate details with other women since becoming a mum. 'You leave your dignity at the door of the hospital' - Correct!
  15. The Tommee Tippee Perfect Prep machine is a lifesaver and I would happily kiss the feet of the person that created it.
  16. Google is both your best friend and worst enemy.
  17. You will say it a thousand times over, but they really don't stay babies for long, and time is so fleeting that it's kinda terrifying.
  18. There is no one i'd like to slap the face off more than the person parked in 'parent parking' minus a child.
  19. Wise is the mum who doesn't brag about their baby's fantastic sleeping habits, for it's sure to change that  very night.
  20. ...And watching  your baby sleep will never get old, a year on and i'm still besotted with my little snoozer. The sleepy stretches and rosy cheeks make my heart melt.
  21. There is (sadly)  a lot of snobbery and competition amongst mummies regarding everything from choice of feeding, changing bag, clothes to pram. Which is ridiculous as we're all knee deep in dirty nappies and cleaning spaghetti bolognese off the floor. 
  22. You become the most selfless version of yourself and will happily leave a shop with nothing other than items for your baby. You'll go without washing your hair, often skip a meal and change plans last minute to suit your baby's needs.
  23. The smallest things will give you the biggest sense of joy like watching your little one's reaction to new toys/people/surroundings.
  24. The injections will always be worse for you than your baby. Always.
  25. If you've been blessed with a bad sleeper, it does  and will get better. I promise.. It may take 10 months, lots of tears and gallons of caffeine. But it will get better.
  26. Listen to advice from friends, read the books, blogs and magazines but always go with your gut instinct.
  27. You start doing the things you promised yourself you would never do and previously judged other mums for doing. 'No child of mine will ever have a dummy!' - She's had a dummy from day one. 'My child won't touch sweets until she's at least four' - There's milky buttons stashed in the cupboard, just three years early..
  28. I used to think Sleeping when baby slept was the most ridiculous piece of advice ever offered, but now that I start  work in the evenings, it's my saving grace.
  29. You start to think about the future more, and really want to strive for the very best for your family.
  30. There is no better therapy than having a fellow mummy friend. You can rant about your lack of sleep, your partner's inability to multitask, laugh at your parenting mishaps and complain about your inability to lose baby weight while scoffing cake and tea.
  31. There comes a point you stop apologising for clogging up your Facebook newsfeed with pictures of your little cherub, if people aren't happy to see them- why are they on your 'friends' list to begin with?!
  32. ...And although friendship is a two way street, you naturally begin to weed out the people who haven't been there through the biggest change in your life. 
  33. If you are anything like me your sense of fashion will have taken a back seat to comfort. Anything oversized, fluffy or arse covering, im buying it.
  34. I still can't help but lick the spoon after a dose of calpol... strictly for nostalgia purposes.
  35. Your little one will always gravitate towards the most insignificant things so do yourself a favour and go easy on your Visa card at Christmas.
  36. You will quickly realise there are many different stages of tired.
  37. Overtired, fighting sleep baby is the devil in disguise.
  38. I've called my daughter so many pet names during the last year I doubt she knows which one is her actual name. 
  39. Children's television programmes are most definitely thought up whilst on acid trips. I'm convinced of it.
  40. Invest early in a good stain remover. If it's not sticky Calpol on bed sheets, it's those luminous orange pasta bibs. Our washing machine is on constantly and there will always be something steeping in the sink.
  41. Hearing your baby laugh is undoubtedly the best sound in the world, there is no greater sound.
  42. Watching my daughter grow and learn new things by the week really has made the sleepless nights, fatigue and chaotic house all worth it. (No, really!)
  43. I love a good pregnancy announcement and find myself getting emotional despite not even knowing the person. Damnit, Facebook.
  44. Mummy Guilt. Ugh, mummy guilt. Well that's a whole Blog post on it's own.
  45. Baby dancing is both the cutest and most hilarious thing to witness. 

  46. Returning to work after Maternity leave is never as a bad as you think, in fact it's probably worse for your co-workers who will be subjected to daily baby stories/ thousands of pictures.
  47. You  suddenly appreciate your own parent/s so much more.
  48. Write things down. It's amazing how fast babies change and develop. You'll want to remember their first tooth cutting, first solid food, first steps.. and if you didn't manage to note it down, your social media time lines may help with that!.  I can almost hear my Grandparents  tut at the very thought.
  49. Enjoy the good days, don't be too hard on yourself. Don't be afraid to ask for help. We're all making it up as we go along, aren't we?
  50. Pour a drink, exhale a sigh of relief, you have made it through the first year!


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