Tuesday, 26 April 2016

Dear Sarah (A letter to my pregnant self)

Dear Sarah,

 So you're Pregnant? 
There is nothing to be scared of.  I promise. The scary stuff kicks in after the baby arrives.
I'm only joking, but develop a thick skin and get used to these kind of comments- you'll be subjected to them all through your pregnancy, and after, and pretty much forevermore.. and usually, by strangers.
They don't need to know if your pregnancy was planned and if you are planning on breast feeding- tell them where to go or you'll have to endure countless tales of daughters, nieces and neighbours who caused their baby long lasting damage by over stretching or accidentally eating  a sandwich with brie in it.
Just let these throwaway comments go through one ear and out the other or your nerves will be wrecked for the next nine months, and trust me, nine months when you're pregnant might as well be eighteen- and on that note, keep yourself busy.
Stuart will encourage you to get behind a team during the World Cup 'It'll make the pregnancy go in quicker for you' he will say. Don't listen to him, it wont. 
People will also enjoy telling you the negatives about pregnancy, the heart burn, the insomnia, the errrr.. excess hair- but there are just as many absolutely amazing aspects too, like feeling your baby move, kick and hiccup.. the emotional bond you've developed with someone you've yet to meet. You will spend hours upon hours imagining and wondering what your baby could look like, what career she could have, and all the exciting memories you will share together in the future.
You'll will have never really thought into the future as much as you will now. In fact, some nights you will lay in bed riddled with anxiety at the thought of bringing your little girl into the big, bad world, it's something which will never leave you.
Try and embrace all the changes going on with your body. I know, I know... it's easier said than done, and pretty disheartening when you can fit into nothing but pjammas and Stuart's football attire- Sure, you are openly supporting Manchester United against your will, but one day you will miss that bump. The same bump that made it awkward to get out of bed, shave your legs (what a perfect excuse to stop...) and will make your sense of spacial awareness non existent- but I promise you this, you will miss it.
Just try and think of the bigger picture, nine months is nothing in the grand scheme of things, and you will one day look back and feel as though your pregnancy went by in a flash. Which is exactly why you should keep up to date with your Bump To Birthday book..especially now that you have the time to do it.
(there will still end up being gaps..)

Giving birth will be the most surreal and amazing experience.
 It will leave you feeling sore, bruised and a little broken, but you will feel so elated that you will finally meet your little girl . You'll soon be quick to realise that the postpartum bit is generally the part people don't share with you, but these rollercoaster emotions are normal. So normal
So don't go self diagnosing yourself too quickly, keep your mirror above your waist, give yourself time for you body to adjust,  rest up when you can and don't be afraid to ask for help. Everyone needs help now and again- and you know you'll always prefer your mum's ironing.
Invest in some comfy pjammas, witch hazel, some dry shampoo and enjoy hibernating with your new little family, even if you do resemble some kind of squatter.
Maybe add some concealer on to the list while you're at it.
But it's a small price to pay to have this beautiful little baby nestled in your arms.

You will hear it time and time again, until you're sick of hearing it, but honestly, soak in all these moments, they go so quickly.. even those night feeds that feel like hours, they too will soon will pass and will be missed. 
Every day she will do something different, capture these little moments, you will be amazed in months/years to come how much she has changed- so much so, you will doubt she is even the same baby.

There are going to be some hard times ahead, times when you will question your own sanity. There will be moments that you will not be able to look at Stuart in the eye out of pure hate, and he will 100% feel the same way about you, don't worry about that. You are both so new to this parenting malarkey, and it can be tough when you're just winging it, and both so stubborn. But you will get through it, and you will laugh about the hard times. You will pack up your belongings more than once and claim you are moving out, but a few Jack Daniel's will do that to a hormonal, sleep deprived woman.
So just go to bed and sleep it off.
Ain't nobody got time for a tearful drunk.
(Ok, so it may well be months down the line, but you will find the funny side.....) 

Because every day it gets easier, and more normal, and familiar. 
And  it's only when you stop for a minute to reflect and look at an old photograph, or find an old baby suit or sock you are reminded of just how quickly time passes by and deep down you know you'd happily live through it all again, the sleepless nights, the teething and tantrums if you were only given half the chance.... if it meant getting to keep your little Girl close by your side for as long as possible.

You can do this, you are so capable.



  1. Such a beautiful piece it tugged at my heart strings. Despite not wanting more children, I have bump envy and would love to do pregnancy again.

  2. Such a beautiful piece it tugged at my heart strings. Despite not wanting more children, I have bump envy and would love to do pregnancy again.


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