Monday, 27 April 2015

The Things I said I'd Never Do

Give my baby a dummy: They look awful, sound awful and I vowed no dummy would ever pass my daughter's lips. Then I became a mum and the dummy quickly achieved Holy grail status. 
If you've ever had the pleasure of a car journey with a screaming baby in tow, you'll understand the sheer importance of the dummy.
You will carry backups on outings, pick them up off supermarket floors, weep at the sound of it falling out of baby's mouth and hitting the mattress. Worst. Sound. Ever.

Put her in an outfit for comic purposes. She did make a lovely Reindeer though.... and a ridiculously cute Christmas pudding. Sorry, Eva.

Let my child sleep in our bed: I have to admit, the both of us love having her in beside us. As long as she's not still there in 18 years we're happy enough.... And who doesn't like being edged out of bed by a little tiny dictator?! 

Become a 'Sharent' Pre baby i'd roll my eyes at the 'he rolled over!' 'she cut her first tooth' 'she slept the night through!!' status'

I mean do we really need to wake up to an album of 50 images of little Johnny with a face full of baby rice? 
After two weeks of absolute, utter teething hell (I was close to returning her to the hospital) , Eva cut her first tooth and her mood lifted.
I wanted to shout it from the rooftops, we got our baby back! Our little girl has a tooth! I completely empathized with the status' I had once mocked.
And let's be honest, there's more annoying  people on Facebook: club promoters, the game requester...

Go more than two days without washing my hair. The routine that I once actually enjoyed, now drains all energy out of me. Messy buns and dry Shampoo are ultimately the way forward. It even gets me compliments when I wash it.

Use the tv to entertain her: Little Charley Bear guarantees me my morning coffee, the coffee that is essential for functioning so it's a win win situation!

Talk about bodily functions like it's the norm: I used to be a private person. That was until I gave birth and took to the whole 'leave your dignity at the door' approach like a duck to water. I talk to other mums about labour and birth (stitches, tears, waters breaking..) as casual as talking about a sore throat. Stuart gets home from work and is greeted with graphic nappy updates. Who says that romance is dead?!

Feed her shop bought food: In a perfect world i'd be stood in the kitchen, apron on and blending together the  freshest, organic concoctions.. and I do. Sometimes. minus the apron.. 
But for all those other times, there's always the trusty Ella's Kitchen's pouches....

Swear infront of her: I'm usually quite good at this, but I have been known to let out the odd  'F' or 'S' when my little one skins the ankles off me with the baby walker. It's almost as bad as standing on a plug. 


Lift a dummy from the ground and give it to her: Six months in and the manic obsession with cleanliness/sterilizing everything within an inch of her is dwindling. 

"Awwk it landed the right way up, it'll be fiiiiiine."

Give advice: Remember all that unwelcome, unsolicited advice you received whilst pregnant? I vowed i'd never do the same. 
 I'm now that person. 

Dress her in mix matched clothes: In my defense dressing this little woman is task in itself. As much as I try to have her looking half decent and matched, the poor child can at times look like she's been dressed in the dark.

Talk baby talk: I'm constantly being told off for my long list of names for our daughter. Little lamb, Miss monkey, monkey button, baby puppy, toodles and the newly added 'Ducky' It drives Stuart insane!

Let my house resemble Toys 'r' Us: Well that lasted all of a few weeks. Then the baby walker came, followed by the bumbo, the two toy baskets, the ball pool, high chair, the travel cot. The joys!.



  1. Ha lots of these are very familiar to me, especially the dummy! We weaned H off his in January, was tough going. Fab post xx

    1. Thanks for reading! Oh no! I'm sure it was..I'll not be looking forward to that stage at all! xxx

  2. This is brilliant. There are so many here that I said I would never do. But it is not my fault that Little Miss H makes an adorable little spider at Halloween and is perfect as an elf. Plus, she never seemed to want to eat my food but give her a pouch from Ella's Kitchen and it will be devoured in 2 seconds. Hugs Mrs H xxxx

    1. I had a little laugh at this! Before Eva I would have rolled my eyes at people dressing their babies up- now i'm all for it! Not so sure she'll be so forgiving though when she see's evidence of her as a reindeer.... or even a lamb!
      Ella's Kitchen is a lifesaver!!
      Hope you are keeping well xxx

  3. Hahaha, brilliant Sarah! :) We employ the 3 second rule here - if it hits the ground for less than that it's absolutely fine! ;) xxx

    1. Haha!! Right there with you. I fear if baby no:2 ever comes along they'll be forced to fend for themselves! Hope you are all well, I love the new blog design!xxx


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